Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
