I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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