so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
