therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
