you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I believe in your delicious
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
