so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
