Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
