he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
me + whiskey = a bad person
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
