does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
