beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
