Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize