It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
