Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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