what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
ok first of all what the fuck
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
