Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Blow job season was short but glorious.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
