Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
