We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
