I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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