How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You need Xanax blowdarts
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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