He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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