just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
