So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
