I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
