I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
