only you would photoshop your dick
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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