He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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