did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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