Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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