you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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