Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
