I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
