I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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