am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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