R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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