so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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