did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
