I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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