you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
