I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
