So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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