She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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