At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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