I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
