At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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