Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
