i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
