I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
