Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
