What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
