You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
