You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
