how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
