there was a trapeze. enough said
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
