Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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