by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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