Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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