he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
