I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
