they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
