those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize