For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize